Yeah so... I got COVID!
Well… I am just going to start this blog post by saying… I tried so hard to out run it…
After Christmas when I returned to Toronto for work, I isolated myself as much as I could. Everyday for three weeks I basically woke up, worked out, went to work, came home, stretched, went to bed, and that was it. The same routine day in and day out. It was some of the loneliest weeks I have ever experienced in my entire life. I thought that by minimizing as much contact as I could I would stay safe. But COVID found a way and still got me… and it got me good!
A little snippet of my workouts since gyms closed on January 4th 2022
On Saturday January 22nd I received my booster shot in Markham Ontario. I went to work feeling just fine like any other normal day. That night when I went to bed I was absolutely frozen. I was experiencing some of the worst chills my body had ever felt. I expected a reaction to occur because I reacted after receiving my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. But this was different. I couldn’t find a way to keep myself warm. I slept all day Sunday. Monday came, and I thought I was feeling better. My body was tired and achy, but I thought I just needed another day to recover from my booster shot. I continued to experience chills for a third night in a row and started to get the feeling that this wasn’t normal…
Tuesday January 25th, I woke up at 4:30am with a sore throat, coughing, and with slight difficulty breathing. I thought to myself “What!? Why? How can I still be this sick after my booster shot!?”. I took the day off of work and tried not to jump to any conclusions. Later on that morning I had a phone call with my paddling coach. She simply asked me “how are you feeling?” and I immediately broke down. I cried so hard. I told her EVERYTHING I was feeling. She picked me up more than words could say after that. I told myself that night “alright Maddi if you don’t feel better tomorrow get a COVID test”. Sure enough - I woke up Wednesday morning with no voice, it was completely gone, and my throat pain became even more severe than the day before. I immediately called Telehealth Ontario and could only whisper my symptoms to the nurse over the phone. She said “by the sounds of it - I believe you have COVID-19”. She continued to tell me about my isolation period, the medication I would need to take, and tips for treating the virus.
My heart sank. It finally made sense to me as to why I was still sick for so long after my booster shot, but I was still disappointed. I did everything in my power to stay healthy and safe, and yet I still got sick. The nurse explained to me that (obviously) you cannot get the virus from receiving your booster shot, and that it was just a REALLY bad coincidence that my symptoms displayed themselves at the same time. Later on Wednesday night a friend dropped off a rapid test for me, and of course it was positive. I watched the red dye flow across the testing page. When the dye disappeared both lines were red. I said to myself in that moment “alright, cool, its’ official - nothing I can do now but focus on getting better”.
My first official COVID test… and it was positive… yeeeshhh
But lets back up the truck for a second here…
Yes, many people are getting sick with the virus right now. Especially in Ontario the virus has been spreading like wildfire… The reason I why I wanted to write this blog is actually because of the way I was feeling BEFORE my symptoms made themselves known to me. Research shows that if you have been exposed to COVID-19, symptoms may take 2-14 days to appear wether they be mild or severe. Two weeks prior to my symptoms being visibly known I can tell you that I was definitely not feeling like myself...
January 10th - 16th, 2022
We were entering the second week in lockdown in Ontario. I tried to arrange a dinner with a friend on an outdoor patio, but the weather was starting to drop below -20 at night so most bars decided to close their patios. The one and only attempt I made to see a friend outside of work had failed. Work was slow because of the virus. Not as many people wanted to walk through our doors of our surf shop due to the current state of the world and I don’t blame them. Due to the drastic dropping temperatures ice shelves started to form over our favourite surf spots, so that meant no more surfing. I was slowly becoming depressed with the world around me. No surfing, no paddling, no friends, when will this lockdown ever end… and yet it had only just begun.
One of my favourite surf spots getting iced out… photo courtesy of: Patrick Lafontaine
January 17th - 22nd, 2022
I cried. I cried so much. I had just found out the news that an old friend from of our University of Waterloo community had committed suicide a week prior. I reached out to friends to lean on (you know who you are so thank you). I was starting to feel less and less like myself. I dragged myself out of bed to workout when I just kept telling myself “what is the point!? Why is working out so damn hard right now”. I was so confused, angry, and sad. I drove to Tobermory to escape the city because I blamed where I was living for my sorrows. I was so mad at the world. My day trip to the wilderness helped but when I returned home, my pain still lingered. I called friends complaining about Toronto. I said to them “I hate this city I want to leave I hate it here”. I had dreams at night about returning to Tofino. I just kept telling myself it’s the winter blues you’ll be fine. Life will be okay just suck it up and get over your sadness.
Visiting the Grotto on my Tobermory solo trip :)
And then my symptoms came…
As human beings we like to rationalize things. It helps us compile and understand our emotions. When we have logic and reasoning, it helps us comprehend as to why we feel the way we do when something happens to us. As an athlete and manager of a store, I rationalize and analyze everything that happens to me so I can create the best outcomes and performances for myself. I will never have any way of knowing if the virus was the reason why I was not feeling like myself over the past couple of weeks. I will never know if COVID was what made me feel so much sadness in my life over the month of January. But the part of my brain that wants to find reasoning, can only make the assumption that it’s quite possible the virus was living inside of me before the symptoms showed themselves. Maybe that is why I wasn’t feeling normal. But like I said - I will never know.
The reason why I wanted to share my story with you is because I only hope you trust yourself to know who you truly are at your core, and when you don’t feel like yourself pay attention to that. Pay attention to those feelings that you have because they are real and they are valid. You are important and how you feel is important. I only hope and pray that during this time you are feeling healthy, staying safe and keeping sane during this rough winter season. I can already say that I am on the rise and starting to feel better. I am starting to feel more like myself again, and I have so many people to thank for that. To every single person that has reached out to me over the past couple of weeks, and during my recent isolation period I cannot thank you enough. I love you all so so so much.
Take care and much love peeps
xoxo - Maddi :)